Wow, it’s been a few months since I’ve posted anything on this page. The thing is a lot has been going on. Have I been busy? Yes. Are these busy reasons understandable? Probably not. Probably. I don’t know.
I’m going to have to catch up with this. I know I need to fill in the blanks with what happened to Brian. Luckily, Berf is still around. Then there’s Maria. The one that wouldn’t go away.
Before I go into all the weird stuff, in this post, that went on these past few months, I’ll tell a little story that happened the other day. This little event made me want to start posting on here again. So, yes, it’s a bit significant.
I was late on my car insurance bill, which is dumb, because it’s not that much. I was late to the point that they told me I had to bring in a money order. I couldn’t mail it. So, I went down to the office. It annoyed me, because they said I had to go up to the fifth floor. Why? Because they’re jerks. Normally, I would have taken the stairs. I mean, I don’t want to be caught in an elevator during an earthquake.
Anyway, getting to the point. I went up, I paid my bill, I got back in the elevator. Now I was wearing my sunglasses the whole time, because I left my actual glasses at my apartment. This is a good thing. It helped in the end. Someone standing next to the buttons was nice enough to ask what floor I was going to, so I said I was going to the main floor. They pressed the button for me, which I was thankful for.
There were a few people in there, but being me I didn’t acknowledge anyone. It’s not that I don’t care about people, I just feel awkward saying hello to people I don’t know. I don’t know why, it just seems weird to me.
Basically, the elevator had about three other people in there. Then it happened. I had gas. I didn’t think it would be loud when I let it out. I didn’t think it would have an odor either. Was I wrong? Absolutley. To both. There was no way anyone could have not heard it. There was no mistaken it was me.
What do you do in a situation like that? Seriously. I’m not a jerk. I didn’t do it on purpose. I didn’t do it because I thought they deserved it. It was weird and embarrassing. I’m mean, come one, it was kind of funny, but still.
The elevator was quiet after that. For that brief moment of eternity, no one said anything. You could hear a pin drop. I could feel the few people in there looking at me. The silence was horrible.
How did I play this off? I didn’t say a word. I waited in a tense awkward environment. I waited until we reached the bottom floor. When the doors opened I walked out and acted like I was blind. I started clicking my tongue and moving my head around like I was Stevie Wonder. I don’t know if it was believable. I doubt it. I don’t know.
Lesson learned: I’m never going to be late on a bill again. Never.